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May 9, 2007

Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons

1. Drew: Mom usually doesn’t mind when Porter picks up junk off the ground because he does that everywhere, but she really freaked out when she realized he was carrying this empty bottle.

jager3

She told us it was called Jagermeister.  She said Jagermeister is an energy drink for animals and the bottle probably had horse germs so Porter had to put it down immediately.  When she said that Daddy started snorting and I saw a booger moving up and down in his nose.  There was a picture of a deer on the label of the bottle, but I didn’t see any animals at the concert.  Well, I saw crawfish, but they were dead and people were eating them.

2. Finn: My brothers and I were at the Chick-fil-A tent getting dinner while Mom bought our drinks.  I saw her talking to a man while she was at the Budweiser tent buying my dad a beer.   I think the man was trying to flirt with her.  I told Daddy, “That man is trying to put the moves on our Mom.”  We got our chicken nuggets and ran over there and I was right!  I heard the man say, “When you said you were here with lots of baggage, I thought you meant the emotional kind, not your husband and kids.” Mom got all red in the face and looked really happy to see Daddy.

3. Porter:  Mommy took me and Drew way up close to the front of the stage but Finn and Daddy didn’t want to go because there were so many people all squinched together.  The ugly guy who sings for Hinder had ladies’ bras hanging from his microphone.  I asked Mommy why and she said they were decoration.  I thought bras were just to cover up girls’ bosoms.  If they can be decorations I think we should put them on our Christmas tree because that would be funny.

hinder1

4. Drew:  When we were waiting for Akon to sing this boy and this girl right in front of us started kissing each other really hard.  They were smushing their faces together and sticking their tongues out.  I asked Mom if they were going to make a baby and she said she thought so.  I think they heard us because they stopped kissing and looked at us and said we were cute.  Then they walked away a little bit and I saw the girl smoking a cigarette.  Smoke came out her nose like the dragon in Shrek but the guy kissed her anyway.  He must be her boyfriend.

5. Finn: My dad was really excited to see the Spin Doctors because they were the only band he’d ever heard of, because he’s like, more into sports.  He calls Akon “Acorn” and Mom says, “Honey, you sound like a redneck when you say that.”

When the Spin Doctors started playing the singer starting doing this weird kicking thing with his leg.  My mom said it would have been a better move if he didn’t look so old.  She said if he was going to jump around like he was twenty years old he should at least dye his beard ’cause it’s going gray.  We weren’t that close to him and I could tell he had more gray hair than my dad.

Mom told us we could only write about five things.  But I wanted to say that my brothers and I got to climb up this cool rock wall.

climb1  climb2

Later I heard Mom tell my brothers that she hoped they had a good time because all she did was hold them up so they could see the stage while she stared at their bottoms.  I think she was getting a little crotchety.

momview

Then we all went home.

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The theme for this post came from ProBlogger’s Top 5 Group Writing Project.  Click over and check it out!

Posted by Anne Glamore @ 8:08 am • Glamorous Escapades,Music: Give Me A Beat!   

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44 Responses to “Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons”

  1. OMG! Your posts always make me laugh at loud! I would so love to be a fly on the wall around your house!

    Off topic…since I’m trying to be a good sport about being tagged (I hate being tagged!) I need to finish doing my part to tag seven more. You are one of the seven (sorry!) because you are one of the only seven or so blogs I read. And that’s your fault because I think you found me first. HA HA! If you want to be a good sport too, post seven random things about yourself (I can’t wait to read them) and then tag seven more blogs.

  2. Funny! We didn’t make it to the festival this year. Ironically, the only group I was halfway interested in hearing was the Spin Doctors!

  3. Ah, we didn’t get to go this weekend. Thanks to baseball! I wanted to see Cheap Trick and Fuel.

  4. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

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  8. Loved their perspectives!! Jager? Energy drink for animals???? hmmmm– that explains my 21st birthday much better.

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  13. Wow, don’t you love these writing projects? I wanted to stop by and say thanks for leaving a comment on my blog about my entry. And I’m glad I did because your entry is really funny too. Good reading!

  14. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons […]

  15. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

  16. Excellent post! Your boys definitely have your sense of humor!

  17. LOL Kids these days sure learn a lot than I did at their age.

  18. I personally think the guy who sings for Hinder is very attractive… but only when he’s singing.

  19. Hey Anne,

    I was thinking of doing the 80’s but decide that would just date me.

    Your top 5 post is hilarious!

  20. OMG, too funny! Thanks for the laughs. Energy drink for animals … that’s great. Thanks for visiting my site.

  21. Aaaauuugghh! Dear Husband and I spent our Saturday afternoon and evening at the festival in honor of 14YOD’s birthday. It was HOT! and LOUD! And the birthday party kids heard the f-word even more than they do at home (at least I hope that’s the case). The Barenaked Ladies were fun, though. Did I mention that it was HOT and LOUD? I’m getting too old for this… 🙂

  22. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

  23. I love it. You’re right. That was worth checking out. The parts I especially like:

    Jagermeister- Energy drink for animals. Though I might argue they should use it to put animals down.

    “That man is trying to put the moves on our mom.” We got our chicken nuggets and ran over there…

    Erotic Christmas tree.

    Smoke came out of her nose but the guy kissed her anyway.

    Departing thought- Rock climbing is very cool, but I just can’t get myself to click the word “crotchety”…who am I kidding? I’m clicking it.

  24. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

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  29. Anne-

    First of all, thanks for stopping by my blog and for your comment.

    Second, this post had me ROFL! You (and your sons) are hilarious!!! I’m really glad to have “met” you through Darren’s contest, and I’ll be back.

    I hope you have a wonderful mother’s day. 🙂

  30. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

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  38. Dear Anne (and all),

    Happy Mother’s Day!

  39. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

  40. I’ve been reading some of your all time best, and I’m cracking up here all alone in my living room! LOL Good stuff!
    I have to do all the explaining to the boys, too. Dh will sort of hem and haw around it, but I want them to know about stuff, like wet dreams, etc, so its usually me. And forget about the girls, he doesn’t even show up for those talks!

  41. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

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  43. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

  44. […] Music Festival Review: Top Five Offbeat Observations From My Three Sons by Anne Glamore […]

Welcome to the Kingdom

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I'm Anne Glamore, wife, mother, lawyer and blogger. I have three boys, and I'm desperately trying to train them to become Southern gentlemen, but that may be an unrealistic goal. At this point I'd be ecstatic if they'd quit farting at the dinner table. If you're new here, check out the Readers' Favorite Posts below or browse through the Categories. I write about my attempts to teach the boys about peckers and sex (which we call "making googly eyes"), my struggles with hepatitis C and spine surgery, the boys' adventures with fire and pets, my mom's death from ovarian cancer, my love of cooking (with plenty of recipes) and anything else that crosses my mind. Join me on Twitter or StumbleUpon or Email me. I'm happy to speak to your group or club.

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