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May 25, 2007

Preparing For The Enemy

The twins aren’t relaxing their guard just because school ends today. Our house is a notorious girl-haters headquarters, as least where the eight-year-olds are concerned. That doesn’t mean some pesky females and their cooties won’t sneak over and try to kiss someone. Those girls will smooch anyone, I’m told.

After school yesterday, Drew and Porter commenced the creation of a complicated defense system designed to detect and intimidate any females under age nine who cross into Glamore territory.

The boogie board is mounted on a skateboard at the rear end for maximum maneuverability. The black tubes from the leaf blower provide dual functions: they act as telescopes while simultaneously imitating the look of gun barrels aimed squarely at oncoming interlopers. Those who venture too close to the mighty defenders will be caught in the basketball net and thrown in the trash can.
Here’s a look at the duo manning their battle stations.


Girls, all this may look like a ladder and some crap from the garage to you. If so, you are sadly mistaken. These guys mean business:


If I were you, I would stay far, far away.

Posted by Anne Glamore @ 11:52 am • Boys: Demented & Dangerous   

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17 Responses to “Preparing For The Enemy”

  1. OMG! LOL! That is absolutely hilarious.

    Think when my girls are around 16 your boys could come build one of these defense systems for me? To keep boys OUT!

  2. Luv it when there is a new Glamore post on Friday…it just kicks my weekend off right…..and boy..after looking at that serious cootie fighting machine and manpower behind it, I am glad my girls are 18 & 22 and live in AZ safe and sound and no threat. Have a great weekend.

  3. Wow that is fancy! I remember when I was young all we needed was “circle, circle, dot, dot, dot, now I have my cootie shot”! This high tech generation is so far and away smarter than I ever was!

  4. Wow. What’re they going to do when they find out you’re a girl? Hee.

  5. That’s hilarious! I’m glad you took photos. Those will be priceless in a few years!

    Stopping by to say hi!

  6. Awesome! This reminds me of the He-man Woman Haters Club from Our Gang!

  7. That is the most hilarious thing! My boys are both still toddlers, but I can see similar ideas coming from them someday. Great post!

  8. Love.IT! Boys are somethin’ else, I tell ya. The day is looming that my darling cherubs will think this up as well! LOL

  9. Dear God – this is what I have to look forward to, isn’t it.

    Where the hell is my wine?

  10. Alas, women of all ages are immediately drawn to males with tatoos and complicated machinery. I will try to keep my blonde goddess away, but she does love the bad boys…

  11. Oh, my! They ARE serious. Ha! My son is seven. Thanks for letting me know what I’m in for next year. He’s gone from loving only girls as friends (age 4-5), to hating girls (age 5-6) to liking them again (age 6-7).

    I’d better prepare our neighborhood girls for the all-out assualt now. HA!

  12. What? No lemonade stand? 😉

    That is seriously awesome.

    I have already pegged one of my daughter’s pre-K friends as the class “hussy.” I know she’d be all about trying to spread her cooties at your house!

  13. that took a lot of thinking!

  14. I love that your boys have such a vivid imagination and have come up with this. Nowadays all you see is kids sitting infront of the TV either playing video games or watching TV. It’s a good thing that they have a mother like you who encourages them to go outside and use their brains. WAY TO GO! I love it!!

  15. […] and smiling to himself. It made me smile, too. ***************** One year ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Preparing For The Enemy Posted by Anne Glamore @ 12:44 pm • Frolic and Detour: Sports […]

  16. […] seen the battles against cooties, the boys’ success in turning a social faux pas into a delightful game, the heinous tricks […]

  17. […] I deal with back talk, science projects that spring from nowhere, anti-girl weapons, and pleas for American Idol.  But any problems can usually be solved with fines, banishment to a […]

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I'm Anne Glamore, wife, mother, lawyer and blogger. I have three boys, and I'm desperately trying to train them to become Southern gentlemen, but that may be an unrealistic goal. At this point I'd be ecstatic if they'd quit farting at the dinner table. If you're new here, check out the Readers' Favorite Posts below or browse through the Categories. I write about my attempts to teach the boys about peckers and sex (which we call "making googly eyes"), my struggles with hepatitis C and spine surgery, the boys' adventures with fire and pets, my mom's death from ovarian cancer, my love of cooking (with plenty of recipes) and anything else that crosses my mind. Join me on Twitter or StumbleUpon or Email me. I'm happy to speak to your group or club.

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