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April 30, 2008

Chow Chat

We were eating dinner and it was Porter’s turn to draw a card from Table Topics. “Where would you rather live, the mountains or the beach?” he read.

“That’s easy,” Porter said, tucking the card back into the box. “We should live in the mountains because there are too many tsunamis at the ocean.”

“What about mountain lions?” Drew asked.

“We can all fight a mountain lion, but a tsunami would wash us away in, like, a billionth of a nanosecond.”

“If we lived near the ocean we could eat shrimp and crabs and fish every day,” Drew said. “That would be yummy.”

“Aw, man, if we lived at the beach, I’d go to that spray tattoo place and get a barbed wire around one arm, and on the back of my shoulder I’d get a really buff Jesus with a holy light shining all around His head,” Finn said.

“I’d get a SpongeBob tattoo!” Drew yelled.

Bill and I exchanged glances. Finn joined the church last weekend but I didn’t realize his fervor was that strong.

“I’ve never heard of a spray tattoo,” Porter said.

“That’s because you’re an LBR,” Finn told him.

“What does that stand for?”

“Loser beyond repair.”

******************************

Two Years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: Coming Apart

Posted by Anne Glamore @ 9:32 pm • Boys: Demented & Dangerous,Let's Eat: Meals and Recipes   

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13 Responses to “Chow Chat”

  1. LBR- Bwhahaha! I’m so using that!

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..100 Things

  2. Poor Porter. The kid can’t catch a break.That is an excellent line though. I can think of a lot of folks I know that are beyond repair.

  3. congrats on Finn’s decision

  4. Is Finn talking about a henna tattoo? If so, they’re about $30 or more!! You can buy the “stick-on” kind that you wet with a cloth for only a few dollars at most “beachy” gift shops. When I told my 13 year old that he’d have to pay for the henna tattoo, he was very eager to get out a washcloth and do it himself!!

  5. I like how it has to be a BUFF Jesus. Like … it can’t be a wimpy, sad, loser Jesus.

    DUH.

    moo’s last blog post..the “free pass” list

  6. Congrats on Finn’s profession of faith!
    !!HALLELUJAH!!

    I’ve gotta get one of those Table Topics games! I have a devil of a time coming up with topics when I’m Table Topics Master at Toastmasters!

  7. LOVE it. Absolutely love it!

  8. I almost spit my breakfast all over my computer when I read the “SpongeBob tattoo” bit-it’s something my younger son would’ve said too!! Crazy kids!!

  9. Whoa — that was a little harsh! Ah, the joys of parenting little people who Think they know so much more than you but who, in actuality TOTALLY clueless!

    KLee’s last blog post..Back From DC

  10. LBR – That’s my new slang!

    I’d live in the mountains if it was me. Just in case you wanted to know.

  11. That completely reminds me of dinners as a child-I was Porter and my older brother was Finn.

    Crisanne’s last blog post..They don’t give you clothes in there.

  12. Love it! I have a new phrase to use.

  13. […] pointed out that “LBR” doesn’t have to be an insult.  It could also stand for “Legs, Breasts, […]

Welcome to the Kingdom

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I'm Anne Glamore, wife, mother, lawyer and blogger. I have three boys, and I'm desperately trying to train them to become Southern gentlemen, but that may be an unrealistic goal. At this point I'd be ecstatic if they'd quit farting at the dinner table. If you're new here, check out the Readers' Favorite Posts below or browse through the Categories. I write about my attempts to teach the boys about peckers and sex (which we call "making googly eyes"), my struggles with hepatitis C and spine surgery, the boys' adventures with fire and pets, my mom's death from ovarian cancer, my love of cooking (with plenty of recipes) and anything else that crosses my mind. Join me on Twitter or StumbleUpon or Email me. I'm happy to speak to your group or club.

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