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July 30, 2008

Bring It On

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The annual Foosball tournament is Bill’s pet project, and he applies the same concentration and diligence to creating the teams and brackets as he does in crafting a legal brief.

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None of the moms play foosball on a regular basis during the year, what with raising children and all, and the kids who are saddled with a mother as a teammate struggle to hide their disappointment.

I was paired with Kimberly’s husband.  I was counting on his innate athleticism (he runs and plays tennis) to at least get us through the first round.  Finn and Drew were having none of it, though, and beat us before I was completely sure the game had started.  Maybe I should have worn my reading glasses to better track that tiny ball.

Although her husband’s tennis skills weren’t helpful, Kimberly is even better and plays at level AA1.  I don’t understand the ranking system, but in practical terms this means she must play with the tennis pro or someone who was on the tour in order to find decent competition.  And she’s all about competition.

I’m thinking it was her insane competitive drive that carried her and the Voice of Reason’s son through to the finals against Finn and Drew.  It was a ball-buster, and Drew was visibly nervous that he would let Finn down.
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It was best 2 out of 3, and after the first game Finn and Drew did a few exercises to keep their wrists supple.

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Finn was encouraging to Drew and put on a fabulous big brother act: “Way to save the goal, Drew.  Good defense.  Dude, that point was all you.”
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It was sweet to watch, but his act was diluted when Finn them turned around and kicked Porter in the shins, saying, “Quit crowding me!  You’re always in my way!”  When I counseled him on his attitude toward Porter, he said, “I’ll be his brother, but I won’t be his friend if he keeps acting like such a baby all the time.”  He has a point.  Porter is socially immature, but the solution is not a kick in the scrotum, as far as I’ve read.

Finn and Drew emerged victorious and pleased with themselves, and there was much high-fiving throughout the house.
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This morning the boys were headed to the beach.

“Have you buttered the boys?” I asked Bill, who was loading his backpack with his newly purchased kite, another of his favorite beach activities.  He really should have been a camp counselor.

“No, but if it’s eating you, butter them yourself,” he said.

“It’s not eating at me,” I said, and I let them go.

Our Memphis friend shook his head at the whole exchange.  “I know a bunch of Yankees who’d need some serious translation for that.”

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I’m traveling with people, including my husband, who “don’t get” blogs.  Bill insists I’m living in Second Life, although where he picked up that term I don’t know.  He also says that writing on a blog is like putting earrings on a pig.  You can call it what you want, but it’s not “real” writing, he says.  He’s no different from Richard Schickel in this regard.

They’re both wrong, of course.  Why should the quality of the writing be based on whether it’s published in print or on the internet?

***************

A look back in My Tiny Kingdom: Schickel Insults Blogs; Melee Ensues

Posted by Anne Glamore @ 9:10 pm • Frolic and Detour: Sports,Wanderlust: Travel Tales   

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14 Responses to “Bring It On”

  1. Who does Bill think all those people you met in SF were? Figments? Other fake writers? Hurumpf. If I weren’t such a lady I might should be offended.

    Catherine’s last blog post..Orwell Diaries

  2. Is that a Middlebury College shirt your son is wearing!?! If so, who in your family was lucky enough to go there!
    -longtime reader, first time commenter, Middlebury alum

    Lyra’s last blog post..Control

  3. My husband just basically humored me on the whole blog thing, and even still doesn’t read it unless he is afraid I will put something on there. But then I started making money with offers to write for people. With a couple thousand dollars under my belt and tons of free products, he takes it a bit more seriously, but still doesn’t read it.

    But my mom thinks I’m great!

    Qtpies7’s last blog post..Game Stop

  4. Next time, ask him (a) which is most widely read – a pithy blog post at mytinykingdom or a finely crafted specimen of legal writing; and (b) which was more enjoyable to the reader. Then again, I think we all know the answers.

  5. I love this post. Do you rent Bill out to organize other families’ vacations??

    You weird blogger you. 😉

    MammaLoves’s last blog post..Friends

  6. Umm, I cop to being a Yankee…translation please on ‘butter the boys’. Does it have to do with sunscreen?

  7. Tell Bill he is so wrong on this one. And ‘rude beyond repair’ for saying that to you!

    Erin’s last blog post..Karate Kid

  8. Bill is wrong. Tell him teh intarwebs tell him so.

    All joking aside, this is real writing. If it weren’t we wouldn’t keep coming back.

    Congrats to Finn and Drew on the foosball championship. Does it come with medals or an award of some kind?

  9. Try as I might to whoop butt at foosball, I stink. My husband is a grand champion. Too bad there’s no moola on the foosball tourney circuit!

    Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children’s last blog post..People watching

  10. And to think that I was just today considering *selling* our foosball table! You’ve convinced me to hang onto it a bit longer. We have three girls and *then* the boy, so we may simply need a few more years before the action picks up.

    Ann Kroeker’s last blog post..If You Want Something Done, Give It to a 10-year-old Girl

  11. Looks like y’all had a blast! My parents have a foosball table in there basement and we have drunken competitions. It’s way too much fun.

    dana’s last blog post..Grandpa Loved the Cubs

  12. Hey, I’m a Yankee and I totally understood that. (Of course, I grew up in Centeral Missouri, so that might have something to do with it…)

    And a real writer is someone who really writes. So tell Bill to put that in his pipe and smoke it.

    Laura’s last blog post..The World’s Shortest Memorial Day Parade

  13. buttered? eh? uk here, have no idea what you meant! x

  14. It’s like talking to several friends at one time. Some have more than others…but it’s real communication. My husband doesn’t get it really either. BUT he knows I am a sahm who needs other women to relate to. Have a good week!

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I'm Anne Glamore, wife, mother, lawyer and blogger. I have three boys, and I'm desperately trying to train them to become Southern gentlemen, but that may be an unrealistic goal. At this point I'd be ecstatic if they'd quit farting at the dinner table. If you're new here, check out the Readers' Favorite Posts below or browse through the Categories. I write about my attempts to teach the boys about peckers and sex (which we call "making googly eyes"), my struggles with hepatitis C and spine surgery, the boys' adventures with fire and pets, my mom's death from ovarian cancer, my love of cooking (with plenty of recipes) and anything else that crosses my mind. Join me on Twitter or StumbleUpon or Email me. I'm happy to speak to your group or club.

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