November 2, 2008
How We’re Spicing Up Our Marriage
Every morning and every night, Bill brushes his teeth and spits into my sink. He doesn’t use water to rinse the toothpaste fuzz off his mouth like civilized people do; he wipes the minty froth onto my hand towel. I’ve put up with it because I love him but it’s raunchy.
The other day I caught him clipping his toenails into my sink.
“Dude, you’re grossing me out,” I said. “Fingernails and toenails don’t go in the sink, and they certainly don’t go in my sink. What’s your deal? We’ve lived in this house for over ten years and you can’t keep your nasty shit in your own sink.”
“Toenails can too go in the sink,” Bill said. “But I’m just having problems using my sink. I keep migrating over and using yours. I think we assigned them wrong in the very beginning. What say we trade sinks?”
So after fifteen years of marriage, we’re making a change. The shaving cream, razor and Scope will be on the right, and my favorite cup that holds my toothbrush is heading to the left, along with the zillions of skin cleansers and creams I require to look this devastatingly youthful. Under the cabinets, the tampons, cotton balls and VO5 are moving to the cabinet formerly inhabited by the Speed Stick, extra toilet paper, Irish Spring and Pert.
Switching bathroom sinks might sound mundane to some, but it’s made for a fun weekend so far. The romance of sorting and tossing outdated toiletries a deux was surpassed only by the fact we keep bumping into each other naked as we head for one sink, then switch to the other, in a tiny space. We’re treating it as the start of many scintillating changes in our relationship.
I figured I better put up pictures of this because don’t you love seeing what’s in people’s bathroom cabinets?
During the sorting of the toiletries…
Not running out of shaving cream anytime soon. Thanks, Costco!
The glamorous side
The manly stuff
*************
Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: In Which Bill Is Right
Posted by Anne Glamore @ 9:03 pm • Googly Eyes: Make Love Not War
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November 2nd, 2008 at 11:03 pm, cynthia Says:
i wonder how many times you will get confused on which sink is which, out of habit.
how was he planning on getting rid of toenail clippings…certainly not your towel again!?!?!?
cynthia’s last blog post..day 2 of many!!!!
November 3rd, 2008 at 7:41 am, Amanda Says:
Someday my husband and I are going to need separate sinks FOR SURE. We already had to get separate toothpaste because he’s a top squeezer and I’m a bottom squeezer. And I’m getting really tired of all his icky boy habits.
Amanda’s last blog post..Brrrrr
November 3rd, 2008 at 12:44 pm, Peeved Michelle Says:
Amateurs. This weekend my husband and I are switching sides of the bed.
Peeved Michelle’s last blog post..Pizza with Extra Peeve
November 3rd, 2008 at 2:25 pm, Charlie on PA Tpk Says:
We have a bath-and-a-half, and the half has been mine since we moved to this house 17 years ago. Next to the washer/dryer, I get a little above-the-sink cabinet, just tall enough for shave cream can and she gets the master bath sink, the three-door mirrored cabinet, the space beneath the sink, etc.
And speaking for myself, as a 6′ tall person who works out regularly (including stretching), I am unsure how I would maneuver my foot to be in the sink in order to trim my nails in the first place….
Charlie on PA Tpk’s last blog post..Last day wrap up
November 3rd, 2008 at 3:21 pm, liz Says:
What is it with the not rinsing and the wiping of the tooth-pasty mouth on the towel???? I have one of those living with me, too.
I’m training my boy to do better though.
liz’s last blog post..Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:12 pm, Jeni Says:
Wait, you guys organized your toiletries… naked?
Matt and I clearly have a lot to learn.
Jeni’s last blog post..Dough, a deer…
November 3rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm, Anna See Says:
Wishing Tom and I had two sinks right now…
Anna See’s last blog post..Putting the Nasty in Nastia
November 4th, 2008 at 8:52 am, Loth Says:
Separate sinks? Wow. (Gazes dreamily into the distance) That’s how to save a marriage right there!
November 5th, 2008 at 7:45 am, Jamie Says:
We still share one sink. WAAAAH. Eventually this must change or blood will be shed. Especially when the girls hit puberty.
And I’ll confess to putting my daughters’ fingernails in the sink but they are way cuter and tinier than Bill’s I bet. 😉