Why be a tiny cocktail sausage when you can be a mighty weiner?
— question pose by Naveed Ozcan in my spam folder
I’ll tell you why not. The world is full of mighty weiners, and we don’t need any more. However, there’s a definite shortage of tiny cocktail sausages. Fortunately, Naveed’s spam reminded me that I have the most delicious recipe for tiny cocktail sausages ever, and they’re ridiculously easy!
My Mom’s Slurpy Good Cocktail Sausages
1 pound mild sausage
(roll this into small balls and bake 15 minutes at 350)
1/2 cup ketchup
1/2 cup white wine vinegar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tablespoon soy sauce
1/4 teaspoon ginger*
Dump the meatballs in the mix and marinate 24 hours. (Can freeze at this point.) Heat before serving. A chafing dish, toothpicks and plenty of napkins are good accompaniments.
* my recipe is blurry here and says gin– I’m assuming it means ground ginger since we started making these in the 70’s when fresh ginger was unheard of, and 1/4 teaspoon of gin would be useless.
If y’all beg me, I’ll share her equally yummy (and groovy) recipe for olive tarts. Boy, the appetizers of the 70’s rocked!
Why do the people in my spam folder who are not selling enlargement products want to know if I sell wheelbarrows? Is there a sexual connotation to a wheelbarrow that I’m missing? Is it the new drug of choice among today’s partying people? Or do I just seem like I have time to sell garden products on the side?
I’m sure I’ve written about Bill’s exhausting exercise regime. He’s been training for upcoming triathlons in Memphis and San Francisco, so he spends a lot of time on the road running and biking.
It’s treacherous. We live near the high school, and we all know teens are nutty, swervy drivers. Bill runs and bikes miles in the dark. He doesn’t carry his Blackberry with him when he’s running, as he wears so few clothes that he has nowhere to put it. Plus, if he were knocked unconscious it would do him little good.
I don’t enjoy thinking about him getting hurt, but my mantra is prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
I just bought him an identification bracelet from RoadId.com.
Here’s a sample from their website:
I put his name and our phone numbers on it and Matt. 19:26, which refers to a verse that ought to keep him going on the uphill parts of his training.
I purchased the original bracelet, but RoadID offers other colors and products, including an id that fits on your shoe, and a flashing firefly light that can be seen up to a mile away.
If you have a walking, running or biking group this is a must. The Firefly light would also be handy for keeping track of your children at Halloween. In fact, readers, please leave your ideas for these products in the comments. I know their uses go far beyond sports.
Edward at RoadID has offered all my readers a discount if you use the code ThanksAnne348175 when you check out.
You may also be interested to know that the die-hard triathlete swims in these:
I thought he was having an affair with a big-assed lady the first time I found them in the laundry. Never in a million years did I think he wore these to be aerodynamic in the water.
Damn. I found ANOTHER one.
It is just lucky for him that I love him so much, or I’d have to tell the world about his itty-bitty swimmies.
Do you run into the same problem I do? I want to share the bloggy love with my friends and family, but lots of people are incapable of locating blogs and reading them, or just don’t have the time. (Hell, I know people who still haven’t discovered email, but that’s a whole nother topic).
However, almost everyone has access to an iPod and is familiar with the book on tape concept. When the two unite (by civil union, holy matrimony or just shacking up) the result is a PODCAST: a recorded version of some of my popular posts or me just freewheeling on the microphone. (Bill thinks this is a bad idea.)
But Lord, do I ever have big plans for this new medium! I’m happy to record my old stories, and that could eat up lots of time. But sometimes I encounter unbelievable tales of injustice or engage in frolicking hijinks and I never have time to write them up properly. It wouldn’t take me any time at all to record them and post them as mini radio spots. After all, I’ve only been working on setting up this whole podcast thing since October.
Also, I am always getting questions from you all in my email, and I’ll intend to answer them, but then a boy will fillet himself with a fish knife or another will start talking like he’s been raised in the ‘hood, and I’ll put it off.
A podcast would be just the place to tackle specific topics, and you could listen to them on your own schedule.
Here’s one proposed topic:
“Is it acceptable for a suburban white boy who’s just been picked up from his elementary school by his minivan-driving mother to answer the query, “How was school today?” with the response, “It was pimpin’, yo.”??”
“What are YOUR New Year’s Resolutions, if any, Anne Glamore?”
And, I have emails festering in my inbox wanting to know what books I read when I was expecting (I wonder if they’re still in print?) and whether I have any child-rearing books to recommend. I may be short on tits, but I’m long on opinions, so I have a little sumpin’ sumpin’ to say about all this, as well as my secret formula for butt rash and secret recipe for what to stick in the bottle to get the baby to sleep another 5 seconds. (No, it’s not gin.)
Please, feel free to submit other podcast ideas to my email: anneglamoreATgmailDOTcom. How about if you put “podcast idea” in the subject line to help me stay organized??
The ideas are the easy part– let’s talk about the dynamics of listening to the podcasts so you can test it out for yourself.
1) Some of you are lucky enough to be able to see the gray player on my left sidebar. (Hopefully all of you will fit in this category soon.) Choose a story by clicking on it and press the “play” button. You’ll hear me telling that story over the computer! Zowie!
2) Another option is to go to my podcast blog and click on the thing that says “POD” and the broadcast will start playing on your computer. See how each story has a picture of the Anne Glamore you know and love, like this:
That means it’s me re-telling a previously posted Tale.
But when I go off on something new, more along the lines of a radio show, I’m going to use a picture that shows me in podcasting mode, like
or maybe if something really exciting is happening that causes me to shout and my eyes to glow red.
I’ve submitted these to iTunes and when they’re approved I’ll let you know how to find them. You’ll be able to subscribe to the podcasts and automatically get updates.
So y’all, do me a favor. Let me know if you can see the gray player or not, and whether it works. Let me know what browser you’re using, too. (IE, Firefox, etc). Also, if you’d test the link to the pod blog and see how that goes, I’d be much obliged. Better to get all the bugs out on the front end, right? You can leave comments about the pod blog over there, OR SO IT SAYS.
Some people say that forty is the new thirty. Bullshit. I didn’t have chin whiskers (excuse me — stray eyebrow hairs) when I was thirty.
I have a fair complexion and can keep it under control. I’m extremely worried about my thirty-something Greek friends, though.
Edited to add:
Whoa– this post is causing much consternation. Hasten to the drugstore and purchase some Tweezerman tweezers, a magnifying mirror, and reading glasses — these will be your tools of discovery AND annihilation. Report back on your findings and the results of your attack.