Festivities & Celebrations

Apeshit, And Deservedly So

In Alabama, when the weatherman mentions even a minuscule chance of flurries the entire population goes nuts. The stereotype is that we all head to the store for bread and milk, but in fact a savvy snow-shopper purchases grits, cheese and crackers, lemons and limes and plenty of wine, beer and hot chocolate.

I have no qualms in admitting that I lead the pack in going bonkers when there’s a possibility of frozen precipitation. It touches something primal within me, and I picture the family together, snuggling in front of the fire, sipping drinks and playing board games. Then it’s time to head outside and build snowmen, sled (requires at least 1/4 an inch of snow), watch the males throw snowballs (no hitting Mom or I won’t show you how to make snow ice cream) and then back inside to warm up. Repeat as needed, proceeding from hot chocolate to wine to gimlets as the day progresses.

Last week we planned to go to Auburn for MLK weekend, but as the chance of snow seemed more likely, I warned Bill that I certainly would not be heading south if that meant I’d miss the most exciting weather event in a decade.

By Thursday night, weatherman James Spann’s hysteria level was approaching my own, and he released a map
that indicated we’d be half a centimeter from the swath predicted to receive three to five inches of snow if we journeyed to the country house, but a centimeter and a half away if we stayed in Birmingham.  We decided to plan to go to Auburn, but stay if the forecast made a sudden change.

We pray with our boys nightly, but that night we were even more imbued with the Holy Spirit than usual. I don’t mean to give Jesus short shrift, but we pray about him all the time, and sometimes it feels pretty rote. The last time we prayed for snow with a good chance of having that prayer answered was eight years ago, and it was thrilling to switch up the bedtime prayers a bit.

Friday, James’s certainty that some part of the state would be blanketed with white didn’t waver, and the snow swath hadn’t moved.

“You go, dude!” I screamed at the TV. “Come on, snow! Bring on the Gulf moisture and Arctic air!” I did a few high kicks and Jazzercise hip rolls for emphasis.  The boys looked at the screen unmoved.  They’ve seen green rain and red and yellow tornadoes on the weather map, but the area of pink and white meant nothing to them, no matter how much I sang “Snow, glorious snow!”

We loaded up the minivan and headed to Gold Hill.

The snow was supposed to start around noon Saturday, but I looked out the window just before ten and saw huge, puffy flakes falling through the pecan trees.

Finn had seen snow once before, but Drew and Porter had not. They spent a few minutes inspecting the snowflakes, catching them and watching them melt, checking out those that landed on the ground, and staring into the sky and letting snow fall directly onto their faces.

Then, realizing that the snow wasn’t going to last forever, they began an assembly line to collect it.

Finn came up with the idea to save it in the white trash can, but long-time readers will have no trouble guessing which twin carted all the other crap out of the shed and set up a “system” so the snow could be “processed” before it was packed away for safekeeping.

Drew served Elvis his very own snowball.

You’ll recall that the other Mrs. Glamore never throws anything away, so no one blinked an eye when she marched into the shed and pulled out three rudderless water skis, circa 1950, which the boys turned into snowboards.

Other women may not be satisfied with just an inch, but it was more than enough snow for me.


Two years ago in My Tiny Kingdom: I’ve Come A Long Way, Baby


  • childsplay

    Living in Colorado, especially the last few years of arctic cold and huge snowfall, I forget just how magical the whole thing is.

    My kids still go nuts every time white stuff falls, but I’ve taken to retreating under the electric blanket until it melts away.

    I’m so glad you all got the snow, and the fun! 🙂

    childsplay’s last blog post..American Idol

  • lake lurker

    Hey, you are so right about James Spann’s hysteria, if not obnoxious ranting on weather. That’s why I prefer Jerry Tracy. But like the Glamore’s, we got all fired up with the chance of snow. We live about where the 5″ line is on your map and I believe we got as much of the white stuff as anyone.
    It seems like we’ve gone a long time since the last snow.Up until 10 or so years ago, we would get at least a dusting almost every year. Let’s hope for more snow without the ice.

    lake lurker’s last blog post..Apeshit, And Deservedly So

  • Sandra

    Being Canadian, I forget the fascination with snow. For us, the 2 inches we received AGAIN last night just meant I had to clean off my car AGAIN this morning, and will do so AGAIN this afternoon since it is still snowing. I love it when kids get such enjoyment out of something we take for granted. I think I’ll have a snowball fight with my boy tonight. Just because we can.

    Sandra’s last blog post..ding dong…

  • Kendra

    Kills me- here in N. California our weather people get hysterical when it rains! Reporting outside its the top story. It snowed here when I was 17 what a fun day at school that was! 30 years later I’m still waiting for another snow day.

  • Grammie

    Great minds (ha!) think alike! If you scroll down several of my newer posts you will see my sentiments on the (supposed) great snowstorm of 2008.

    For me, a good “uh oh” indicator is when James Spann rolls up his shirt sleeves. Then I know that things are getting serious! He gets so darn excited and animated when the weather starts to turn interesting!

    Take care…
    A Fellow Birminghamian (is that a word?)

    Grammie’s last blog post..a special day

  • Tootsie

    The mad rush to the store seems silly unless you remember WINTER STORM ’93. (All you folks are nodding your heads now, huh?) My family was trapped in the house without power and forced to cook over the kerosene heater for a week and a half. I, on the other hand, was “stuck” in Auburn, enjoying the kegs in the snow.

    Tootsie’s last blog post..Step away from the online real estate ads

  • jen

    Huh. I have long since lost the love of snow. Growing up in Chicago and living in Colorado will do that to ya. 😉 LOL! But I do looooove being snowed in…at least until the cabin fever hits!

    jen’s last blog post..CZ rocks!

  • Natalie

    You can have all of our Utah snow!! I will say that I miss the snow in Arkansas only because with the slightest dusting we got out of school. Living here it’ll take several upon several feet before anything like that happens. I am glad to hear that your kids were able to experience it, even if it was just a little. You can’t go through life without at least one snowfall!

    Natalie’s last blog post..So Funny I Almost Peed

  • maggie

    Ohmygosh, thank you for this. Up here in Wisconsin we had 32 inches of snow in December alone. We grump about it quite a bit, but seeing you all delight in it reminds me to appreciate what’s in front of me.

    maggie’s last blog post..Sad

  • Pam

    Snow on saturday was especially great, my daughter got married. How many brides in Auburn, Alabama can say they truly had a white wedding! Loved it!
    ( After I got over the panic attack)

  • Libby Jones

    I’m up here with Maggie in Wisconsin, looking out at the deep snow…knowing that more is coming tomorrow. At least it should come after I’m home from work and can keep my car in the garage! They came by yesterday with the big machines to scrap off the tops of the piles along our county roads and push them further into the fields. Gotta make run for more snow to be scraped off the road!

  • Laura S.

    I miss James Spann. The local anchors here in Orlando just can’t call with weather with so much enthusaium or insane and freakish knowledge of local geography. My mother is a self proclaimed weather nut and often calls me after watching the Weather Channel to tell me it might rain in Orlando that day. We were visiting Atlanta over MLK weekend and got to see snow. My 6 year old florida born child had never seen snow. She will always have such fun memories of having her 1st snowball fight with her cousins in front of the Georgia Aquarium.

  • Kathy

    I grew up where it snows and fully appreciate the hot summers Alabama has. I could live withOUT another snowflake for the rest of my life. I could, in fact, live without it ever getting below 60. LOL My kids did enjoy the snow, but once every couple of years is enough, thanks.

    Hey…hubby always jokes that Spann will get a “weather woodie” when he hears a severe weather day is coming our way! Tee hee!

  • Elmo

    What does Lorena Bobbitt and James Spann have in common ? Nothing really except when Lorena Bobbitt says there will be an inch on the ground – she really means it .

  • Alana

    I was also born and raised in Alabama. I live in Baltimore now and people around here freak out when the forecast predicts snow also. You think we would be used to it by now, it is not a total unusual occurrence around here. I refuse to go to the store simply on my stubborn principle alone – so usually during or right after the “storm” I have to send my husband out for milk and tp – he loves that!

    Glad I found you – I am looking forward to reading other posts. I love when I find Alabama girls – all of my dearest friends are there – we are 35 and I don’t think they know what a blog is either. I posted some of our favorite yaya quotes the other day, but I can’t say for sure if they are reading me yet.

    Alana’s last blog post..Friday RoundUp

  • Cassie

    Moving south from the mountains, where I am use to snow, not having it now, I miss it terribly. I want snow and ice so bad. I want to have those few hours at home with the kids, and no work, and no phone ringing. That’s the life!

  • Katherine

    We were in the 1-3″, very near the 3-5″ zone here in metro Atlanta. I think I was as excited as my kids. Unfortunately, we got maybe 1/4″. Enough for a brief snowball fight and a snowman only about 1 ft tall. That 1/4″ fell in the first hour or so, then it kept snowing but got slushier and slushier.

    Katherine’s last blog post..Pie in the Face!

  • Lin Haraway

    Thing Two,fifteen, managed a full-sized snow pirate after scraping every molecule from the side yard. Apparently, they missed the bus yesterday on the sleet thing. But the grocery chain owners racked up another record-breaking day.

  • Mamaluv

    I love it!! Being Canadian but living in the southeast has been an eye-opener. Suddenly you don’t mind the sub-zero temps if it means you can roll around in white stuff more often. Last week we had 2 or 3 inches that actually stuck around for 3 days. Of course they canceled school, church, basically shut the whole state down. Husband and I cooped up with the kids at home and made snarky remarks about wimpy Southerners (then cussed as we tramped outside in the 25F cold to look for abandoned toys now buried under the white stuff).

    Mamaluv’s last blog post..An E-Mail Forward that made me laugh