Festivities & Celebrations,  Glamorous Escapades

An Illustrated New Year’s Eve Story

Another New Year’s Eve has come and gone, and I am proud to say that this year we found our mojo, which had been missing for several years. Twelve of us gathered at our house to eat, drink and celebrate the end of 2005.

In the days leading up to the party, I was really feeling my age and the stress of the last few months, so I emphasized that it would be a low key celebration. “Don’t feel any pressure to stay up until midnight,” I said to my guests. “We can just eat and go home– you should be in bed by 10:30.”

“That sounds great,” Marathon Mom said. “The holidays have worn me out.”

I made a marvelous linguini with bacon and shrimp, which sounds pretty plain, but once you add the bell pepper and capers, anchovies and black olives it takes on an entirely new, festive feel. My Artistic Friend made the ever-popular Autumn Salad (greens, candied walnuts, blue cheese, chopped Granny Smith apple and a dressing) and we had Bananas Foster for dessert. Unlike Smitten, I always forget to take pictures of our food while it still looks good, so you’ll just have to take my word for it that dinner was delectable indeed, even with those funky ingredients.

After we ate, I figured everyone would go home and get in bed, and either watch “What Not to Wear” or bring in the holidays with a bang. Then something funny happened. Just as we turned off REM “Murmur” and switched to my “Dance Party Mix,” everyone was overcome by a feeling of festivity and we kicked it up a notch. Suddenly, we didn’t feel forty years old; we felt like we were twenty. Or younger.

The evening got sort of blurry at this point. Fortunately, I had my camera so I can show you what happened next.

Someone thought it would be a good idea if we played quarters.

05 newyrs 067

It WAS a good idea. We played so long that we ran out of beer, but that was okay because we had plenty of wine on hand. We broke the corkscrew trying to open it, so we had to get out the pliers.

05 newyrs 075

Yeah, we ran out of clean wine glasses, too, but I found a random martini glass somewhere.

Then people started getting fancy with their quarter shots. This dude had good luck rolling the quarter off his nose. He looked sexy doing it, didn’t he?

05 newyrs 078

As 2005 turned into 2006, we found that our eyesight began to suffer, and it was necessary for us to get a larger receptacle to aim for.

05 newyrs 083

After the alcohol was depleted, our age caught up with us and everyone decided to leave. My Artistic Friend could not find her keys, so she dumped the contents of her purse into a large salad bowl. Gack.

05 newyrs 086

How many items can you identify?
I spy with my little eye: a cellphone, sunglasses, a tampon and some business cards.

Here’s a closer look:

05 newyrs 087

Now I see Scotch tape! Empty package of Eclipse gum! Large tube of Close Up toothpaste! Orange marker!!

But that’s not all:

05 newyrs 089

A pair of dirty socks! A disposable camera! Nose spray! Cough drops!

05 newyrs 088

And if you get hungry, she has a broken candy cane (unwrapped) and a few Nerds scattered in the bottom of her purse. And don’t forget the red crayon and her Chanel powder. All she needs is a roll of toilet paper and she could survive for ages on this stash.

That was just gross.

Actually, my last New Year’s picture may be the most unsettling. Like most Alabamians, I believe that New Year’s Day must include greens. I prefer collard greens to turnip greens. I’ll warn you; there’s absolutely no way to make a pot of collards and ham hocks look appetizing:

ebayblog 002

You’ll just have to take my word for it that they were delicious with a little Tabasco.