To Finn: You know I like to wake to the mellifluous voice of Steve Inskeep on Morning Edition. Why, then, do you insist on setting your alarm to blast Weird Al Yankovich’s “Found It On eBay” when you know it is likely to piss me off?
Tell me why (I need another Pet Rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner’s toupee)
They had it on eBay
You’re lucky I really love you.
To Drew: The Sunchips, marshmallows, saltines and roasted peanuts were actually intended for consumption, but if you’d rather painstakingly construct a culinary/architectural masterpiece with them it’s okay by me. Using honey to hold “The Greatest Snack of Your Dreams” together was sheer genius, and the blue starberries add a bright, cheery touch. Way to go, future Frank Lloyd Wright/Thomas Keller man!
To Porter: The look on your face says there’s nothing more fun than jumping on the trampoline while splashing yourself with the hose. I better put down this camera and join you.